Dear Miranda, I once had some resolutions…

So I haven’t thought about this in a while (as in months), or only vaguely but I figured I could go over them once more. Mostly I think its funny how I seem to be doing a lot better than I thought considering I haven’t been consciously thinking of these.

Just for kicks, let’s review:

1. Keep Up with the Health thing.
I have been eating so much Mexican food lately and more fast food then normal. I don’t even have a good excuse other then I’ve been lazy and not giving a fuck. I’ve probably gained between 5-10 lbs since May. I can’t lie… as  am typing this, I’m thinking about what I want for dinner and carbs are at the top of the list.
2. Take a BIG trip.
 My mother and I’s trip to Scotland and Ireland is booked and I’m just waiting around for the day to arrive. Currently I’m stressing the fuck out about having enough (read:any) money to spend while I’m over there, but I AM going over there so there’s that.
 
3. Start an IRA and a savings fund.
 Done and Done. I now have no money because it all went into this shit, but at least I did it.  
 
4. Drink more Water.
 No change. I really suck at this.
 
5. Be more positive/happier.
 I’ve grown so much this year. Seems like I had several years of stagnant and then a TON of change all at once. I wont lie… there have been a lot of growing pains and lots of tears shed this year, but it’s all worth it because for me I can’t be happy with out growth. Things have stabilized a lot however I’m still cultivating a bunch of thoughts and emotions and sorting through “life stuff”.
 
On a side note I have also cut out and separated myself from a lot of the negativity in my life. It’s funny how it seemed so impossible to do this at one point but simply by choosing to do things and be around people who are ALSO working to be happy instead of what I was doing some of the bullshit just disappeared on its own.
 
6. Make time.
 I feel like this is the thing I have been the most overall successful at.
 
As you know with my friend Richard’s limited timeframe left it was a wake up call on top of having been trying to work on this anyway. I have made time for family both far and near, as well as setting aside time for friends, and Emily. Doing things with her makes me feel like less of a failure when she acts like a normal difficult 3 year old. I’ve taken her to the children’s museum. She, Zac, and I go swimming or to the park at least once a week. I’ve let her help me cook and worked puzzles and watched movies and just snuggled with her more than I had been.
 
I’m trying hard not to say “Sorry, I’ve just been busy.” I may not get to be everywhere in person but I’ve been trying to keep up weather it be through texts, or e-mails, or phone calls, or coffee dates, or even this blog.
 
I’m trying to reach out to everyone and trying to repair torn bonds and if I can’t then to let them go and move on.
 
And it’s working.
 
7. Write more. Dance more. Sing more.
I feel like this should just be “Play more” and I feel like it’s pretty much parallel to “make time”.
 
8. Make new friends.
I’m realizing this as an adult with a small child means something different then it used to. I have some friends at work that I love and adore though we rarely (if ever) hang outside of work, yet I’m deeply grateful for them. I feel this is a little victory.
 
9. Don’t kiss all the boys.
This is an epic fail. However… I’m not sorry at all. Every boy I have “kissed” (metaphorically and physically) has been an important part of me figuring my shit out. I don’t want to take it back or change it or start over. I needed it. Which… I think you may have told me at one point. 🙂
 
 
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