So I meant to get back to you sooner. And I wanted to be able to take my time in responding to your doubts. But life just keeps moving on regardless as to my feelings on slowing down (Jerk). SO for right now, until I have more time to give you my more eloquent thought process this will have to do.
My thoughts on God and your struggles with Christians are this. I’d be willing to bet that Christians keep more people from Christianity then any other factor. Religion (in general, not just Christianity) is SO personal that people (even really good ones) tend to become extremely close minded and rationality starts to slip away in favor of reckless judgement. Sin parts from our lips while we are in the act of condemning sin. Let me just go ahead and say right here that there are not just hundreds of denominations in Christianity…. but there are millions of brands of Christianity, because each of us is different and we tie our own lives and thoughts and ideas to our faith. And that is a BEAUTIFUL thing. However it leads to a lot of conflict.
I’m not now, nor will I ever press you to be a Christian. I hope that my thoughts will give you a glimmer of hope if you need it, but I will love you (which includes NOT judging you) regardless of what religion you are, always! People like to point out “sin” and I think they miss the point. All sin is sin. All sin is equal. If you have sinned once you are just as much a sinner as someone who’s sinned a billion times. No one is with out sin.
Really it’s almost a hippy Zen concept. We are all equal. We all mess up. We all know the ache of guilt, worry, and sadness.
The idea of Christianity was not Condemn or to pick each other apart! It’s the opposite. It’s LOVE. Unconditionally. Its hope and joy and peace. It’s a place to rest when you are weary or afraid. It’s the light from a big full moon in the dark. It’s a crackling fire, snuggley blanket, and good book. It is comfort.
And, at least to me, to be a Christian is to be that unconditional love, that comfort, that hope in the world around us because we were given new life. We are made to love God and Each Other.
So I really really hope that no matter WHAT other people say to you about their faith, you don’t let them stand in the way of the relationship you choose to have. Don’t let them dictate your feelings or your faith. Don’t let them steal your comfort. ❤