Dear Miranda, my therapist is probably the coolest person I’ve ever met.

So as I told you, My therapist is an INFP like you so she gets me. My first visit was to say the least extremely therapeutic. I’m going to massively condense and tell you that basically I explained my brain tangle and then told her what was going on with me, the issues I was having (like that my emotions are at a constant 10). There were lots of questions and lots of tears and lots of thinking and talking. It was the first time I’ve had a therapist listen to what I told them and instead of explaining to me this complex maze of stuff, she simply explained exactly what I had told her in new terms. For example I talked about how my personality changed as a teenager and how I became just like my dad and how we are both high strung and emotional and not good with change, ect. So she explained that because my mom was unlivable I learned my coping skills from my dad and while they helped my survive at the time, they were the coping skills of someone who is damaged and in survival mode.

So that information isn’t  new exactly but its just explained back in a way that I’m like “Yes! That. Exactly.”

Another example is my “brain tangle” where I told her I can never seem to find a balance and am exhausted because I always have all these overwhelming emotions and feelings that I try and analyze and understand and I’m both extremely logical and completely irrational, sometimes simultaneously. So she explains back that because of the coping skills I learned combine with the fact that I’m an INFJ it’s causing a tug of war with my limbic system and frontal cortex…or more simply put my F (feelings) are running wild but keep slamming into my J (judging) and visa versa.

Again, not news per say but it makes SO much since and its just a relief to have someone be able to verbalize WHY this is going on. And if someone is going to help you sort things out its pretty essential for them to UNDERSTAND you. And she basically commented that we would have to formulate a plan that let me have a “checklist” of sorts because I’m a J and dude… like… I know you might not get this but that was a HUGE deal to me. Like. She isn’t going to try and change WHO I am, she is just going to help me untangle and learn a new coping pattern, based on my strengths!

We talked a lot about my mom. No surprise there.

I don’t know Miranda… she was amazing. Nothing has changed and obviously I have a really LONG way to go but it just feels amazing to have someone understand me, and to have some validation about the things that are driving me crazy. I see her again on the 26th.

-Me

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