Per my promise

Here’s the next piece of writing for you, babe. I created a tumblr so that I could keep my character’s stuff together. Meet Viveca Leigh Gideon, a character I’ve created for World of Warcraft (retail) on Wyrmrest Accord.

Roses and Dandelions

If such things as crystal balls that conveyed the past existed, and a person of wilful mind could gaze into the abyss within and view a person’s existence, then one could deduce that Viveca Leigh Gideon lead an extraordinarily dull yet fortunate childhood. Born in April some twenty or so years ago, a snow white babe if there ever was one made two proud parents of Rose and Jachaery Arterton. Since her conception, the pair had found nothing but luck in their lives. During pregnancy, Rose hardly fell ill, and though her husband insisted on bed rest in the end, it’s said that she could walk about, work the gardens, and keep the kitchen going without much fuss. There were no unusual complications during the birth of Viveca, their one and only daughter, and she took to the breast without any inconveniences. The babe was hardly ever sick, and she was without collick. She slept through the night, and grew to each upon routine. The sound of her father’s laugh was hardly matched by the song of her mother, and both aided in keeping the child mostly happy throughout the formative years of her life.

Though they never had enough to dress of value or buy frivolous things, Viveca’s parents did well to be certain she wanted for nothing. The thing was, though, that Viveca hardly seemed to want much more than they had. From her mother, she learned to garden, learned the plants and their uses. From her father, she learned to fight. He refused to teach her with a blade, but unarmed, she could get in a few punches before fleeing for her life if the situation rose for it. Growing up, she knew she would take over the apothecary of her mother’s creation and Viveca accepted this with hardly any resistance.

For years, the Artertons appeared untouched by time, fame, or wealth. Kingdoms fells, Theramore Isle grew stronger, and the Kul Tiras were proud members of the Alliance still. The first mark of tragedy to fall upon the happy trio was the assumed loss of her father, one of many who sailed in the fleets for the Alliance under the Kul Tiras banner. Though Viveca, in a morbid fashion, had been prepared for the potential loss of her father ever since she truly understood his line of work and the risks involved, Rose Arterton took this news hard. She was never quite the same.

This left Viveca to man the apothecary, to seek the sales. She had to use the soil herself, will the plants to join her in keeping up the family’s money, cook and clean in a house meant for three, and into growing from a young girl into a woman, she had to keep up her guard for would-be suitors. She could not bare the thought of leaving her mother behind, and there would be no guarantees she could get her to join her wherever she went. It would just be best for all involved if Viveca let that part of her life slide by.

However, even for the luckiest of us, life has a funny way of forcing a person along when they become too stagnant.

The man she came to know as Arrick Gideon entered her life in the same way many greet Theramore Isle, a boat. Though he never gave her a clear answer on why he happened to be there that day, the moment they met, he insisted he never wanted to leave without her. The prospect of her daughter getting married seemed, for a short time, to heal Rose Arterton’s grief. Infatuated with the pair almost as much as they had become infatuated with each other, none were surprised by the announcement of their engagement.

This, though a joyous occasion altogether, was the first major decision Viveca would make for herself.

When Rose claimed she would keep up the apothecary there, Viveca left her stubborn mother in Theramore and sailed back to the Eastern Kingdoms with Arrick. Across the sea that took her father, Mrs. Viveca Leigh Gideon was eager and anxious to take on the new responsibilities of being someone’s wife in a land she couldn’t remember ever having seen before, in a family she’d never yet met.

With luck ever on her side, any tension or ill-will addressed to the woman who would steal the heart of Arrick Gideon while he was away from his rather close family was cast aside as soon as they met her. Together with her husband and the land his family owned in the Redridge Mountains, the life the newlyweds led was busy, but not unusual. Arrick, as it turned out, was an explorer who’d dreamed of reaching the unknown areas of Kalimdor as soon as travel there was safe and resources readily available. He was not so much interested in discovering new land as he was procuring rare items and artifacts, learning rich history, and studying the affects of the ancestors on the likes of Azeroth. Much like the relationship with her father, Viveca’s love for Arrick only solidified further when he was away and burst with enthusiasm when he returned.

In the months that he was gone, Viveca grew close to the soil of their land and began to work it once more. As soon as she’d sprouted this idea and grown comfortable with the life she now had… Once again, life forced a hand.

Rumors of Theramore’s destruction came swiftly to her hears in waves of people having found out sooner than later, and even aftermore. Well wishes and condolences were sent to Viveca on behalf of her mother’s death counted among the others, and worry grew in the pit of her stomach for the sake of Arrick’s life.

Fortunately for the Gideons, Arrick appeared to be no where near the catastrophes that took place during and just after Theramore’s demise. He returned home the following winter just in time for Winter’s Veil, and since the recent events and then the cataclysm that shook the world, the lovers decided home may be the best place for him to be until stability was a part of their every day life again.

And so the garden and apothecary they grew only flourished in Lakeshire, where Viveca set up post once a week and made decent enough profit to continue living. Over the years, Arrick’s own parents and extended family began to perish. Some to the war, some to the events of the world, some to taking risks beyond their expertise. Yet, Arrick remained alive and for Viveca, this was all she could ask for.

Enter in the most recent invasions of the Burning Legion and you have yourself the backdrop for another unfortunate event in the otherwise extraordinarily lucky life of Viveca Leigh Gideon.

To be continued…

And then, to make things current:

Poor Unfortunate Souls

The latest invasions from the Burning Legion last season came, conquered, and destroyed thousands upon thousands of lives in the blink of an eye. One moment, time stood still and while life wasn’t absolutely perfect, it wasn’t a tragedy for just one fucking minute on Azeroth.

But, like all good things, Arick’s life came to an end before Viveca’s eyes.

“Travel to Westfall, he says,” Viveca teased her husband from behind the caravan. The pair were on horseback riding alongside a cousin’s caravan as they took to Westfall in hopes of taming land that was otherwise recognized as untameable. Jokes had been made about the poor condition of Westfall’s soil, and even further serious comments had been made about how this had directly affected the hunger strike in the countryside. Surrounding the pair and the caravan of luggage were a dozen or so volunteers to guard them, though all would be paid if Arrick had any say in the matter. Beggars with haunted faced and swollen eyes looked up on them as they passed, and the bravest of these even bothered to come closer with anger. They never made it far.

“It’ll be fun, he says,” she continued to tease him, and only when he looked over his shoulder at her and tossed the blonde mane of his did she smirk up and blow him a kiss with her gloved palm.

“Come now, country living has done you wonders. You went from some sea urchin to a right farm girl in no time.”

“I can hardly claim our garden a farm,” Viveca laughed up at him with mirth, shaking her head. “And there’s a difference, darling. This place has.. little hope. It would take a miracle, more than that to get it back on it’s feet.”

“It’s their choice where my cousin decides to start and waste away his inheritance. We aim to serve our family, remember?” His horse, on command, lingered back a bit to walk in stride with her mare.

“Yes, I remember,” she confirmed.

“If it bothers you that much, we’ll see to it that we return home swiftly,” He reached for her hand with his, and between the pair of horses, they lifted their arms and locked digits. “Maybe,” he added with a wink, “we’ll pick up a few animals on the way. Make it a real farm, eh?”

“And where are you going to keep a few extra farm animals?” The dark haired woman’s laugh almost grew to a pitch that would disturb the evening of sleeping homeless and helpless people, and thus, her husband brought a finger to his lips to remind her.

“We’ve got an extra room in the upstairs, don’t we?” He lifted a brow at her, his voice lower still.

“You’re going to keep chickens and a mule upstairs in the spare bedr–” She began, but realization set in on her hard and fast. Her eyes went wide with admiration and her heart threatened to burst louder than their voices could ever have been. “You don’t mean?”

“I do,” He nodded to her.

It had been a point of conversation at once point, certainly, but between the pair it had been decided the world simply wasn’t worth raising a young boy or girl in until it was a bit more stable, safer. They were waiting, though exactly what for, Viveca had never known.

“And you think now is the proper time?” Viveca questioned, her heart in her throat with all her hopes and dreams.

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” the tone of his voice grew firm, serious. The blonde brows that knitted on his face were a telling sign that he’d already made the decision and wouldn’t be swayed. “There’s no point waiting for a world that will never be perfect. Our world wasn’t perfect when we were born, you know.”

“Oh, Arrick,” She breathed, straining to keep her voice quiet despite how loud she’d wanted to shriek with delight. “I agree! I mean to say, we should! When we get back, then?”

It was one of those moments where the light in her eyes threatened to stay there forever, daring the world to throw whatever it could at them for she would never falter in her faith.

The world listened, or, someone from another world did. The same sky that caused her eyes to glitter with joy grew dark, disturbed and outlined in green. Funnels from deep clouds above sprung from the heavens and pulsed into the ground all around them as demons of all shape and size began to walk through various portals all about the countryside.

“Go! Go with her, now! Eight of you go, and take her back!” Arrick wasted no time with the orders, and Viveca both loved and hated him for it.

In protest, despite the fear that prickled her spine, she began to slide off of her horse and run towards him in defiance. His horse led a charge to speed up to the caravan and attempt to turn it around, to take it to safety where there was none. As her feet hovered above the ground, a hand swooped in and gripped her by the waist, pulling her up into the air and pinning her to their chest. Another arm grabbed at her flailing legs, shouting at her of all the times to be stubborn, this was a time to flee. “He’ll be joining us. He’ll be right there. He’s going to meet us in Goldshire. Let’s go, m’lady!”

No one, not even Viveca could convince herself that anyone would be there to reclaim her from Goldshire. This last memory with her husband would be all she had left of him in Redridge.

I want flatlands
I never cared about money and all its friends
I want flatlands

I want flatlands
I don’t want precious stones
I never cared about anything you’ve ever owned

I want flatlands
I want simplicity
I need your arms wrapped hard around me
I want open plains and scattered trees

I want flower fields
I want salty seas
I want flatlands soft and steady breeze
bringing scents of lined-up orchard trees
dripping heavy with pears and dancing leaves

I want flatlands
will you go there with me

when it’s said in the dark and you know it’s always there
when it’s dead in our heart but your mind is unafraid
when it’s said in the dark and you know it’s never coming back
when it’s there in your heart in your mind you set it free

Love you,



Protected: Dear Miranda, Let’s talk about the biggest epiphany of my life.

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Dear Catie, What’s happening to you?, Part One: Flirting. Why?

Why do people flirt? Perhaps, if we first looked at this, we could figure out the rest. So, step one: Why do people flirt? According to Psychology Today:

  • Despite the pitfalls associated with flirting, and early interactions, flirting is a key step toward initiating a date, and equally important in maintaining your romantic relationship.
  • Second, flirters are sometimes driven by the exploring motive. Here, a person flirts to gauge the interest of the person he/she is flirting with.
Okay. That’s kind of a given. We flirt because it’s how you get that step towards a date, and also how many people keep their relationships going. 
Oh wait. You’re single. You don’t want to keep a relationship (of that kind) going, and you also don’t want any dates any time soon. (At least anything serious.) …. Uh oh. Then why do you do it? — Well, exactly as it states. And because it’s a habit. You were in a relationship / and married for the last million years of your life. Flirting has been what you did to keep your relationship going. 
But wait, you also flirted because of another reason. Psychology Today has also listed it:
  • Third, our flirtatious messages are sometimes driven by fun motivations. This motive describes the fact that we may flirt simply because it is fun or the interaction is playful.
  • Fourth, at times we flirt for instrumental reasons. When flirtatious messages are driven by this motive, we are flirting to achieve a goal. Perhaps you want someone to do you a favor, buy you a drink, or complete a household chore?
Lol, or you are joking around and you want someone on skype to give you a link, or to cheer you on, or whatever the reason that is playful in nature. On the internet, flirting is a language and it speaks to the 3rd and 4th reasons PT gives us.
But, if I am being honest in my own speculations.. I think it’s still something else.
  • Fifth, flirting can be driven by the esteem motive. This motive encompasses those times when individuals flirt to increase or reinforce their self-esteem. Namely, being flirted with makes us feel good about ourselves (unless the person is a creeper).
  • Finally, flirting can be driven by sex. Flirtatious messages born out of this motive are based on a physical attraction to someone and/or the desire to engage in sexual activity with that person
Hammer, meet Nail. (Also, I did NOT add the creeper comment. That was from another article within Psychology Today. Honest-to-God.) I’m going to give everyone a bit of a TMI right now, but you and I have conversed recently about how being single has made you go through the roof as far as realizing you can wink at all the things, flirt with all the things, and though you wouldn’t dare (you said so yourself), it makes you extremely… um… There’s not a nice way to say ‘aroused’. (God, I am so sorry, lol.)  
Jokes aside, let’s push aside reason number six and focus on five, because I think this is the main point we need to focus on here. Shit is about to get real. Remember: Breathe. I am about to state all of these things based on what I feel solely on a mixture of what you’ve told me, what I’ve seen, what I’ve witnessed from others and their observations, and what I’ve deduced.
You are starved for affection. In your past marriage, you wanted it so badly and it was scarcely received. Now, I am not stating this for any blame to be pointed at anyone. That’s not the point. My point of this post is to point out reasons for things. You are hungry because you were starved. You flirted, and were still starved. You flirted outward with others because of it, and were still… starved.
Exit that relationship and immediately enter your brief whirl-wind romance with another. It’s very unfortunate that things went south with this one, because he’s not a bad person. You guys got along great – and a huge factor in that is because he didn’t starve you. If anything, you were almost overfed (at least, as much as you could be considering circumstances.) And when things got too cozy, you panicked. What the fuck are you supposed to do with all this new attention you’ve longed for and got overfed??
Exit that relationship because of a cold realization that left you in many tears. I remember them. I remember the desperation in your voice. Catie, if breathing is hard right now at this point in my post, please, this if your reminder to breathe. Breathe. Because you’re not a horrible person. You’re not.
You’re actually incredibly strong. Despite the unfortunate piece of your most-recent ex being a good guy, and things going so ‘perfect’, you stepped away. And in my opinion, you NEEDED to. And you REALIZED that when you found out these things, things like how you felt selfish because you craved the attention, and craved some fucking affection, and is that so bad? It’s not. So, you took a step back, and you evaluated. And now you’re taking a break. You need space. Best. Fucking. Idea. Ever.
(Lol, get it? You need space!)
But it’s going to be hard. You’ve already seen how it can even be a little challenging.
Okay, back to flirting.
I think most recently you’ve done it out of habit. You’re so used to flirting because for the past two or so years, that’s how you’ve survived while being starved.  No one, especially not me (the Pot) is blaming you (the Kettle). Honestly, I think you going through this is only helping myself more with this issue as well. Because I also flirt for attention – yet I am NOT starved of it. It’s, again, a habit. And it comes from starved attention.
What does that attention do? It makes us feel desired. It makes us feel like we’re doing something right. It makes us feel like we, ourselves, as we are.. Don’t need fixing, we’re fucking fantastic. (And you are, don’t get me wrong.) But we don’t believe it, thus we look for it.
But I am going to burst a bubble that was the hardest damn thing for me to realize, and it will be easier to explain if I give you a taste of my own experience. (But you’re used to me relating to it to explain things when I give you advice anyway, so this is nothing new!)
These questions we have, ‘Am I desirable? Am I worth it? Do you delight in me?” … They can never be answered in a way that we are 100% satisfied by any man or woman ever on the planet, nay, universe. It will never happen. Example:
“Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” He can answer in whatever way he’d like. Do we hear him?
“Honey, I feel like a monster. Do you think I’m worth loving?” He can answer in whatever way he’d like. Do we hear him?
“Honey, this is all I have to give. Do you delight in that?” He can answer in whatever way he’d like. Do we hear him?
I found this out while attending a self-discovery study with some other fine females such as myself. We were reading this book about the exact same topic. We wanted to know the answers to all of these answers, dammit, and why doesn’t it feel good when the men answer the way we want them to?!
Because two things have to happen for this to ever sink in, for this feeling to ever go away, and our desire to flirt because we crave the acceptance to ever not be a necessity for surviving in this harsh world.
  • You have to believe it yourself.
LOL. Can you say, “Harder to do than say?” I fucking can. Introduce me to a woman who truly, 100% of the time, all day err day believe she’s got it going and I will give her a lap dance. Or something else ridiculous that will never happen, because she doesn’t exist. 
But we can get close. It can happen. We may not feel it forever, at all times, but we can get pretty fucking close. For example, aren’t you the bitch who’s just met her goal weight? Get the fuck out of here with your insecurities. (I’m kidding.)
  • You have to ask the right questions to the right people.
The questions you have, the reasons you flirt (or at least, I think so) … They need to be asked to God. Excuse me, bitch. Are you getting all biblical on me? What the hell does God have to do with me feeling good about myself, or feeling like I’m good enough for this world. Shut the fuck up and listen to me a moment.
If we are to believe that God made us, would he have made a fucking mistake?
If we are to believe that God has the plan and makes all of us the way we are for a reason, would he have us where and what we aren’t meant to be?
If we are to believe that God loves all of his children, would he have made us in a way in which he wouldn’t delight in us?
I don’t think so, Missy. You see, we can ask our significant others, our boyfriends, our girlfriends, our besties, our sisters, … We can ask anyone on this planet, and it’s not fucking fair to ask them that. We will never believe them. They are human. They are imperfect. They could be lying, and we’d rather believe they are lying to us than be saying we are better than we tell ourselves we are.
But how the fuck do you tell God that he made a mistake? How do you tell him, “You’re just saying that. You have to. You made me, and if you said otherwise, it would look bad on you.” God ain’t lying. Don’t believe me? Here. Picture God as Tom Hiddleston (Loki):
Would this face fucking lie to you?
I know that you are a logical person. I know that even believing in God was a challenge for you because you need proof. There are many people like that, and you’re not alone in that. Don’t feel bad for it. He already knows. He’s already prepared to show you what you need to fucking listen to him. He’s like that loyal dog that no matter how many times you tell him to get lost, you want to be alone (because you feel like such a monster) … He just fucking sits there, wagging his tail, waiting for you to give him something, anything
What does this have to do with flirting? Well, if we truly believe in ourselves, we wouldn’t need to flirt with others to test if they believe the same things about us. We’d already know we’re tough shit and they need to recognize.
Now, I want to point out that this only addressed the core reason I  believe you are flirting at this moment in time. There isn’t a problem with flirting, just flirting for the wrong reasons. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, and you don’t have to ask them these questions. Sure, it’s fun to hear someone tell you you look like a fucking BAMF in your new outfit that you got because of your goal weight. You deserve that. You worked hard for it. But at the end of the day, you need to make sure you’re cool with God, and that you believe, that he believes.. You’re absolute where you need to be, where you are right then and there, as imperfect as you are, because He put you there. For a reason.
I can’t tell you in a million ways how perfectly imperfect you are to me, Catie, and have it any where near what finally, truthfully, and whole-heartedly believing that He has done all of these things and believes all of these things of you. He doesn’t care what the fuck you’ve done with your life. He saw it coming. He carried you through it. He didn’t create perfect people. Jesus isn’t here for the healthy. He died for the sick.
Okay. I’m done being preachy. At least this time.
So, maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you flirted. Maybe it went too far in one way or another. Is it the end of the world? No. It’s just like when you fail at your diet. Mayyyyybe you bit off more than you could chew, and now you want to throw up with how the food is settling. Oops. So, don’t eat that shit again! Try something else.
My advice to you, now that you’ve read this:
  • Set boundaries. 
Remember when you flirt that it’s for the fun, not because you need the attention. It’s enjoyable to play around. But, people need to recognize this as well. So keep doing what you are doing, and make damn sure to tell them if they get too fresh that you’re not interested / waiting until much later / not available. Do that, and it’s their fault from there out if they get feelsy.
  • Feelings. They suck.
You just made friends. You’re making all of these new friends because of a new life and a new scene. Flirting is also a way to test the waters on how crazy people can be (in a good way, and in a bad way). You know better than anyone that no one can predict when love happens. It’s going to happen. You’re going to flirt or not with the wrong person, and they are going to acknowledge you close up or from afar and fall for the beautiful person you are, despite the flaws. Whenever this happens, and it will happen, you have to make a choice. Do you want to see where it goes, even if it’s not your 9 month deadline (or even if it’s past) ? Or do you want to say ‘no’, because you feel you still need air? Do you even like them? Welcome to the world of dating, where you’re eligible and people don’t play by your heart’s rules.
There is no real way to avoid people falling in love with you. I’m sorry. If you’d just fuck up a little bit more, maybe you could become a monster people would hate instead. 
I’m going to close this post for now because it’s lengthy as it is. Next time on Miranda’s Advice Column, I will give you advice on how to go on from here, with your OWN feels, and how not to fall too quickly, or keep away too far, but find a perfect balance. All the while working, being a mother, and getting out in the world.
To be continued…