Dear Catie, A short story from my cousin Hannah.

My Ovaries

Based on a true story

Written by

Hannah Burns

Editted by

Her Christian Mouth



Once upon a time there were two little girls.

At first sight, the twins appeared almost beautiful.

But they actually weren’t.

They were forking hideous.

And rude.


These horrific little girls traveled through the day, blissfully destructive.

It seemed they were mutants, whose hands could turn to chainsaws in an instant, and then the next second back to normal.

Their feet would suddenly grow many sharp spikes as they walked, and then flick back to normal feet just as quickly.

You see, they were aware of these disastrous mutations.

They just didn’t give a fork.

So, on the skipped through the town, as they morphed back and forth between various weapons of mass destruction and pain.

Suddenly, Little Leftie stopped, but not before she slashed someone through with a sword.

“Wait.” She said.

Ruthless Rightie, with a dreamlike smile on her face, replied “What?” as she wacked a man with a hammer equivalent to those in Super Smash Brothers.

“I’ve got an idea!” Little Leftie said excitedly, tossing a grenade at a passing family.

“Let’s have a contest to see all the different ways we can cause pain!” And she smiled as though she had never experienced a grander idea.

Ruthless Rightie gasped, and was moved to near tears with her joy at their new found plan.

Together, they rampaged even more passionately through the town, squeezing one person to death, and stabbing the next.

They were so happy, they did not realize they were in fact stupid little biatch forkers, and that everyone in fact hated them.

The townspeople tried to sedate them using countless herbs and medicines, but to no avail.

So, the girls journeyed on, pillaging, killing, destroying anything that so crossed their path.


The End

Look for the Sequel, coming soon!

My Hormones by Hannah Burns