Dear Miranda, Here are some Reflections and a NEW set of Resolutions…

My darling Pot, can you believe that we have been at this for a YEAR now? We have sixty someodd posts and I have to say this has been such a good way for us to keep up and stay close despite the miles between us or our never ending hectic schedules. All the ups and downs and twists and turns of life. And life  has changed so much for us both this past year. I have no doubt this coming year will include just as many ups and downs and crazy changes and shenanigans and I look very much forward to living out my thoughts in feelings in letters once more.

 

We Rock.

 

Now. One of the first posts I did last year was a list of resolutions. Some people think that resolutions are stupid. I think those people can stuff it. lol jk I know you are/used to be in this camp. However I do think its silly to hate resolutions just because many people don’t stick to all of them. If you complete even ONE goal you had for yourself its more than the person that chooses to have no goals. And ANY accomplishment should be celebrated. Also I like doing it here because there is some accountability. I have to tell you when I fail and I get to brag when I do something right!

 

So last year I did not do so well on keeping up with my healthy lifestyle, drinking enough water, and I did only a so/so job on making more time. BUT.

 

This is what I accomplished: I put $500 in an IRA account and $2000 in a growth based stock account for Emily separate from her college account. This account will be used for stuff like when she needs a car/prom dress/big school trip/ect. I took a two week trip to Scotland and Ireland. I lived life more fully, learning how to express myself as ME and have a good time. Just last weekend my coworkers were cracking up because I was blasting music for the kids and dancing around the house like a crazy person. I made new friends at work and I found a balance between my own needs in romantic relationships. Which is a pretty big deal considering at one point I was thinking of swearing off men totally. Dating is tricky. I made some mistakes and there are some things that I wish hadn’t turned out quite the way they did however I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m extremely happy with my progress and with the relationship I have now. I can honestly say I am a more positive person this year then last year.

 

That is a big deal. And I am proud of myself I also spent a fair amount of time exploring my faith so the “make more time” wasn’t a totally lost resolution.

 

And now its a new year and it’s time for new resolutions. Here’s to 2015 and to making good choices.

 

1. Make better health choices.

-This one is obvious considering I did so poorly last year. I’m going to make it a pretty broad goal this year as well so that it includes not just eating right and exercising but also drinking more water, cutting back on caffeine, and taking vitamins.  The good news is that I did so bad last year that it wont be to hard to improve this year!

 

2. Utilize the time I have in the best way possible.

-I feel like this is a little better goal then “make more time” for one thing because when you are working 40 hours a week at weird hours, the time you have available is limited and inconvenient. So this year I’m going to try and just utilize the free time I DO have in an effective way. Maybe I will workout in the weird morning hours between taking Emily to school and work. Maybe I will do a bible study. Maybe I with write on here or bake a healthy snack. And when I have time off with Emily I want to take her to the park and dance around with her, ect. I cant make more time where there is none, but I CAN take advantage of the time I have.

 

3. Pamper myself.

-This one is going to be hard for me. Over the years I have gotten to the point where I don’t care what anyone thinks and as such I hardly ever do my makeup, paint my nails, or do my hair. Heck, lets be real, half the time I forget to shave my legs until they are way past the point of stubble. But this past year I realized something. I like when I do those things and it genuinely has nothing to do with anyone else. I like when my nails are painted because I like it. These little things make me feel good about myself. Like I have my shit together and more importantly like I care about myself! I spend a lot of time caring for others. It’s about damn time I love on myself a little!

 

4. Learn to keep a consistent savings account.

– This past year is the first time in my life I have ever had any significant amount of money in a savings account. And honestly it takes a big weight off your shoulders when you know you have a cushion or something to fall back on. I don’t want that to be an occasional thing. I want it to be a lifelong thing. I like having money in savings.

 

5. Make a Quilt/Keep Stitching

-I picked up on embroidery this year and I made everyone Christmas Ornaments and Wall Hangings. I LOVE this hobby and I REALLY want to make Emily a Quilt. It’s a big goal but I think I can do it.

 

6. Figure out my faith.

– This I think is a lifelong process but what I mean is that I want to continue spending time exploring what my faith means to ME and to become closer to God when I’m not at church. I feel like to strengthen a faith you have found you have to do a lot of it alone. It’s what you have to wrestle with and read about and pray for and meditate on… not JUST what comes easily in a crowd of worshipers. (I’m not down on church at all. I think its a great staple but I want to BUILD on that. I am an individual.)

 

7. Keep a Gratitude log.

– I want to start logging the little things I am thankful for. This doesn’t have to be an every day thing but I also don’t want it to be a once a year thing. I’ve found thinking about it REGULARLY and writing down the things I’m grateful for makes me a more happy individual.

 

8. Get rid of the Guilt and other Nonproductive Negativity.

– I’ve noticed some habits of mine that breed guilt, anger, frustration, and a whole myriad of other negative feelings. For example I constantly read the Facebook posts of one of “those” moms. I know you know which one I’m talking about because I have been bitching about how much she gets under my skin for ages. And you know… I can remedy this so easily. I could list a few other examples off the top of my head but I will save those so that I can tell you what I’ve done to fix it! (I’m starting on this one early)

 

9. Be the Love.

-I want to be the love I want to see. This means doing small acts of kindness, being loving to those around me, and most difficultly… learning to be kind when it’s the opposite of what I want to do.

 

10. Keep Blogging.

– BECAUSE I LOVE YOUR FACE AND OUR BLOG IS AWESOME!

 

Love you and can’t wait to see what you have to say about this new year!

-Kettle

 

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Dear Catie, these were my resolutions for 2014.

Miranda’s New Year 2014 Resolutions

Apologize only when I regret. Yeah!

Be positive.  December sucked.

No more sodas. To be fair, I don’t drink dark sodas anymore.

No more fast food.  I didn’t really get on this until December.

Plan ahead on school work.  I quit school, if you recall. 

Write for 30 minutes, every day. Woop woop.

Work out. Lol.

Flesh out one of the many ideas I have for a book, and write a plot line. All I have managed to do is come up with more ideas, and no plot lines. ugggggh. Help me.

God, God, God. Other than my hiccup, I’d say yes.

Complete at least two of these resolutions.  YAY I DID AT LEAST TWO!

Dear Miranda, Dem’ Resolutions… let’s review.

1. Keep Up with the Health thing.
L.O.L. I’ve gained like 30lbs. and been eating total junk since man and I started dating. I DO want to get back to this, but not before the holidays. So I guess we will see this pop up on next years resolution list.
2. Take a BIG trip.
Yes. Yes. All my Yes!
3. Start an IRA and Savings Fund 
Done!
4. Drink more Water
… Ok really this should be number ONE next year because I’m horrible about it.
5. Be more positive/happier
This is a yes and I have to say I am really really proud of this yes because it’s not always easy.
6. Make time.
This is hard. I’m not sure if it’s a yes or no. In some ways I am doing a lot better about spending my time “wisely” and on things that matter, but I also have a lot less time with my new job. I’d say I have improved but still need to work on this.
7. Write more. Dance more. Sing more. (Live more)
So you know we started this blog last January? We are a pretty big deal. Also I have taken up Embroidery… Check, Check, Check.
8. Make new friends 
YES! I have new work friends which is cool. 🙂
9. Don’t kiss all the boys
You know, I’ve done really really well this year. I’ve dated, but I haven’t gone crazy. And even more importantly, I have stuck to my expectations even when its really hard. I feel like I should be someones whole world and if I’m not then they must not be my someone. Really, that’s a better resolution. “Know what you want and don’t settle for anything less then that.”

Dear Miranda, I once had some resolutions…

So I haven’t thought about this in a while (as in months), or only vaguely but I figured I could go over them once more. Mostly I think its funny how I seem to be doing a lot better than I thought considering I haven’t been consciously thinking of these.

Just for kicks, let’s review:

1. Keep Up with the Health thing.
I have been eating so much Mexican food lately and more fast food then normal. I don’t even have a good excuse other then I’ve been lazy and not giving a fuck. I’ve probably gained between 5-10 lbs since May. I can’t lie… as  am typing this, I’m thinking about what I want for dinner and carbs are at the top of the list.
2. Take a BIG trip.
 My mother and I’s trip to Scotland and Ireland is booked and I’m just waiting around for the day to arrive. Currently I’m stressing the fuck out about having enough (read:any) money to spend while I’m over there, but I AM going over there so there’s that.
 
3. Start an IRA and a savings fund.
 Done and Done. I now have no money because it all went into this shit, but at least I did it.  
 
4. Drink more Water.
 No change. I really suck at this.
 
5. Be more positive/happier.
 I’ve grown so much this year. Seems like I had several years of stagnant and then a TON of change all at once. I wont lie… there have been a lot of growing pains and lots of tears shed this year, but it’s all worth it because for me I can’t be happy with out growth. Things have stabilized a lot however I’m still cultivating a bunch of thoughts and emotions and sorting through “life stuff”.
 
On a side note I have also cut out and separated myself from a lot of the negativity in my life. It’s funny how it seemed so impossible to do this at one point but simply by choosing to do things and be around people who are ALSO working to be happy instead of what I was doing some of the bullshit just disappeared on its own.
 
6. Make time.
 I feel like this is the thing I have been the most overall successful at.
 
As you know with my friend Richard’s limited timeframe left it was a wake up call on top of having been trying to work on this anyway. I have made time for family both far and near, as well as setting aside time for friends, and Emily. Doing things with her makes me feel like less of a failure when she acts like a normal difficult 3 year old. I’ve taken her to the children’s museum. She, Zac, and I go swimming or to the park at least once a week. I’ve let her help me cook and worked puzzles and watched movies and just snuggled with her more than I had been.
 
I’m trying hard not to say “Sorry, I’ve just been busy.” I may not get to be everywhere in person but I’ve been trying to keep up weather it be through texts, or e-mails, or phone calls, or coffee dates, or even this blog.
 
I’m trying to reach out to everyone and trying to repair torn bonds and if I can’t then to let them go and move on.
 
And it’s working.
 
7. Write more. Dance more. Sing more.
I feel like this should just be “Play more” and I feel like it’s pretty much parallel to “make time”.
 
8. Make new friends.
I’m realizing this as an adult with a small child means something different then it used to. I have some friends at work that I love and adore though we rarely (if ever) hang outside of work, yet I’m deeply grateful for them. I feel this is a little victory.
 
9. Don’t kiss all the boys.
This is an epic fail. However… I’m not sorry at all. Every boy I have “kissed” (metaphorically and physically) has been an important part of me figuring my shit out. I don’t want to take it back or change it or start over. I needed it. Which… I think you may have told me at one point. 🙂
 
 

Dear Catie, Resolutions Three Month Review

Miranda’s Resolutions in Review

Apologize only when I regret. 

Mmf.

Be positive.

Yes. Yes. Yes.
No more sodas.

Lesbiahonest.
No more fast food.

Lesbiahonest.
Plan ahead on school work. 

I AM KICKING ASS. Seriously. Homework is getting DONE, and I have an A in every class. 
Write for 30 minutes, every day.
Technically, I do this because of creative writing. However, I am not getting anything done on my won book, currently. I am finally in the ‘Fiction’ section of my Creative Writing class, though, and learning soooo much. Glad I took this before I decided to start writing that book.
Work out.

Lesbiahonest.

God, God, God.
I have signed up and attended my first meeting of Celebrate Recover: Women’s Study. I go on Wednesday nights, and while I am sworn to confidentiality (thus I can’t tell you anything about anyone else), I can technically talk about myself / the questions / my answers. I’m not sure, however, if I want to offer them. It’s a deep, very beneath the skin study. It won’t be done until Christmas 2014. (Yes, it’s 9 months.) I am excited, though. I can always do more here, but I am also speaking to Him more than ever.
Love you, B.

Miranda