Per my promise

Here’s the next piece of writing for you, babe. I created a tumblr so that I could keep my character’s stuff together. Meet Viveca Leigh Gideon, a character I’ve created for World of Warcraft (retail) on Wyrmrest Accord.

Roses and Dandelions

If such things as crystal balls that conveyed the past existed, and a person of wilful mind could gaze into the abyss within and view a person’s existence, then one could deduce that Viveca Leigh Gideon lead an extraordinarily dull yet fortunate childhood. Born in April some twenty or so years ago, a snow white babe if there ever was one made two proud parents of Rose and Jachaery Arterton. Since her conception, the pair had found nothing but luck in their lives. During pregnancy, Rose hardly fell ill, and though her husband insisted on bed rest in the end, it’s said that she could walk about, work the gardens, and keep the kitchen going without much fuss. There were no unusual complications during the birth of Viveca, their one and only daughter, and she took to the breast without any inconveniences. The babe was hardly ever sick, and she was without collick. She slept through the night, and grew to each upon routine. The sound of her father’s laugh was hardly matched by the song of her mother, and both aided in keeping the child mostly happy throughout the formative years of her life.

Though they never had enough to dress of value or buy frivolous things, Viveca’s parents did well to be certain she wanted for nothing. The thing was, though, that Viveca hardly seemed to want much more than they had. From her mother, she learned to garden, learned the plants and their uses. From her father, she learned to fight. He refused to teach her with a blade, but unarmed, she could get in a few punches before fleeing for her life if the situation rose for it. Growing up, she knew she would take over the apothecary of her mother’s creation and Viveca accepted this with hardly any resistance.

For years, the Artertons appeared untouched by time, fame, or wealth. Kingdoms fells, Theramore Isle grew stronger, and the Kul Tiras were proud members of the Alliance still. The first mark of tragedy to fall upon the happy trio was the assumed loss of her father, one of many who sailed in the fleets for the Alliance under the Kul Tiras banner. Though Viveca, in a morbid fashion, had been prepared for the potential loss of her father ever since she truly understood his line of work and the risks involved, Rose Arterton took this news hard. She was never quite the same.

This left Viveca to man the apothecary, to seek the sales. She had to use the soil herself, will the plants to join her in keeping up the family’s money, cook and clean in a house meant for three, and into growing from a young girl into a woman, she had to keep up her guard for would-be suitors. She could not bare the thought of leaving her mother behind, and there would be no guarantees she could get her to join her wherever she went. It would just be best for all involved if Viveca let that part of her life slide by.

However, even for the luckiest of us, life has a funny way of forcing a person along when they become too stagnant.

The man she came to know as Arrick Gideon entered her life in the same way many greet Theramore Isle, a boat. Though he never gave her a clear answer on why he happened to be there that day, the moment they met, he insisted he never wanted to leave without her. The prospect of her daughter getting married seemed, for a short time, to heal Rose Arterton’s grief. Infatuated with the pair almost as much as they had become infatuated with each other, none were surprised by the announcement of their engagement.

This, though a joyous occasion altogether, was the first major decision Viveca would make for herself.

When Rose claimed she would keep up the apothecary there, Viveca left her stubborn mother in Theramore and sailed back to the Eastern Kingdoms with Arrick. Across the sea that took her father, Mrs. Viveca Leigh Gideon was eager and anxious to take on the new responsibilities of being someone’s wife in a land she couldn’t remember ever having seen before, in a family she’d never yet met.

With luck ever on her side, any tension or ill-will addressed to the woman who would steal the heart of Arrick Gideon while he was away from his rather close family was cast aside as soon as they met her. Together with her husband and the land his family owned in the Redridge Mountains, the life the newlyweds led was busy, but not unusual. Arrick, as it turned out, was an explorer who’d dreamed of reaching the unknown areas of Kalimdor as soon as travel there was safe and resources readily available. He was not so much interested in discovering new land as he was procuring rare items and artifacts, learning rich history, and studying the affects of the ancestors on the likes of Azeroth. Much like the relationship with her father, Viveca’s love for Arrick only solidified further when he was away and burst with enthusiasm when he returned.

In the months that he was gone, Viveca grew close to the soil of their land and began to work it once more. As soon as she’d sprouted this idea and grown comfortable with the life she now had… Once again, life forced a hand.

Rumors of Theramore’s destruction came swiftly to her hears in waves of people having found out sooner than later, and even aftermore. Well wishes and condolences were sent to Viveca on behalf of her mother’s death counted among the others, and worry grew in the pit of her stomach for the sake of Arrick’s life.

Fortunately for the Gideons, Arrick appeared to be no where near the catastrophes that took place during and just after Theramore’s demise. He returned home the following winter just in time for Winter’s Veil, and since the recent events and then the cataclysm that shook the world, the lovers decided home may be the best place for him to be until stability was a part of their every day life again.

And so the garden and apothecary they grew only flourished in Lakeshire, where Viveca set up post once a week and made decent enough profit to continue living. Over the years, Arrick’s own parents and extended family began to perish. Some to the war, some to the events of the world, some to taking risks beyond their expertise. Yet, Arrick remained alive and for Viveca, this was all she could ask for.

Enter in the most recent invasions of the Burning Legion and you have yourself the backdrop for another unfortunate event in the otherwise extraordinarily lucky life of Viveca Leigh Gideon.

To be continued…

And then, to make things current:

Poor Unfortunate Souls

The latest invasions from the Burning Legion last season came, conquered, and destroyed thousands upon thousands of lives in the blink of an eye. One moment, time stood still and while life wasn’t absolutely perfect, it wasn’t a tragedy for just one fucking minute on Azeroth.

But, like all good things, Arick’s life came to an end before Viveca’s eyes.

“Travel to Westfall, he says,” Viveca teased her husband from behind the caravan. The pair were on horseback riding alongside a cousin’s caravan as they took to Westfall in hopes of taming land that was otherwise recognized as untameable. Jokes had been made about the poor condition of Westfall’s soil, and even further serious comments had been made about how this had directly affected the hunger strike in the countryside. Surrounding the pair and the caravan of luggage were a dozen or so volunteers to guard them, though all would be paid if Arrick had any say in the matter. Beggars with haunted faced and swollen eyes looked up on them as they passed, and the bravest of these even bothered to come closer with anger. They never made it far.

“It’ll be fun, he says,” she continued to tease him, and only when he looked over his shoulder at her and tossed the blonde mane of his did she smirk up and blow him a kiss with her gloved palm.

“Come now, country living has done you wonders. You went from some sea urchin to a right farm girl in no time.”

“I can hardly claim our garden a farm,” Viveca laughed up at him with mirth, shaking her head. “And there’s a difference, darling. This place has.. little hope. It would take a miracle, more than that to get it back on it’s feet.”

“It’s their choice where my cousin decides to start and waste away his inheritance. We aim to serve our family, remember?” His horse, on command, lingered back a bit to walk in stride with her mare.

“Yes, I remember,” she confirmed.

“If it bothers you that much, we’ll see to it that we return home swiftly,” He reached for her hand with his, and between the pair of horses, they lifted their arms and locked digits. “Maybe,” he added with a wink, “we’ll pick up a few animals on the way. Make it a real farm, eh?”

“And where are you going to keep a few extra farm animals?” The dark haired woman’s laugh almost grew to a pitch that would disturb the evening of sleeping homeless and helpless people, and thus, her husband brought a finger to his lips to remind her.

“We’ve got an extra room in the upstairs, don’t we?” He lifted a brow at her, his voice lower still.

“You’re going to keep chickens and a mule upstairs in the spare bedr–” She began, but realization set in on her hard and fast. Her eyes went wide with admiration and her heart threatened to burst louder than their voices could ever have been. “You don’t mean?”

“I do,” He nodded to her.

It had been a point of conversation at once point, certainly, but between the pair it had been decided the world simply wasn’t worth raising a young boy or girl in until it was a bit more stable, safer. They were waiting, though exactly what for, Viveca had never known.

“And you think now is the proper time?” Viveca questioned, her heart in her throat with all her hopes and dreams.

“I’ve been doing some thinking,” the tone of his voice grew firm, serious. The blonde brows that knitted on his face were a telling sign that he’d already made the decision and wouldn’t be swayed. “There’s no point waiting for a world that will never be perfect. Our world wasn’t perfect when we were born, you know.”

“Oh, Arrick,” She breathed, straining to keep her voice quiet despite how loud she’d wanted to shriek with delight. “I agree! I mean to say, we should! When we get back, then?”

It was one of those moments where the light in her eyes threatened to stay there forever, daring the world to throw whatever it could at them for she would never falter in her faith.

The world listened, or, someone from another world did. The same sky that caused her eyes to glitter with joy grew dark, disturbed and outlined in green. Funnels from deep clouds above sprung from the heavens and pulsed into the ground all around them as demons of all shape and size began to walk through various portals all about the countryside.

“Go! Go with her, now! Eight of you go, and take her back!” Arrick wasted no time with the orders, and Viveca both loved and hated him for it.

In protest, despite the fear that prickled her spine, she began to slide off of her horse and run towards him in defiance. His horse led a charge to speed up to the caravan and attempt to turn it around, to take it to safety where there was none. As her feet hovered above the ground, a hand swooped in and gripped her by the waist, pulling her up into the air and pinning her to their chest. Another arm grabbed at her flailing legs, shouting at her of all the times to be stubborn, this was a time to flee. “He’ll be joining us. He’ll be right there. He’s going to meet us in Goldshire. Let’s go, m’lady!”


No one, not even Viveca could convince herself that anyone would be there to reclaim her from Goldshire. This last memory with her husband would be all she had left of him in Redridge.

I want flatlands
I never cared about money and all its friends
I want flatlands

I want flatlands
I don’t want precious stones
I never cared about anything you’ve ever owned

I want flatlands
I want simplicity
I need your arms wrapped hard around me
I want open plains and scattered trees

I want flower fields
I want salty seas
I want flatlands soft and steady breeze
bringing scents of lined-up orchard trees
dripping heavy with pears and dancing leaves

I want flatlands
will you go there with me

when it’s said in the dark and you know it’s always there
when it’s dead in our heart but your mind is unafraid
when it’s said in the dark and you know it’s never coming back
when it’s there in your heart in your mind you set it free

Love you,

Kettle

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Dear Miranda, It’s New Years Again…

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Miranda, by now you know I LOVE to make New Years Resolutions. People can shit on NYR all day long, but they give me hope and motivation and a drive towards goals. They help me get my head straight for the upcoming year. They help me not feel defeated and tired and lost. And for fuck sake after 2016 I REALLY need some feel goods.

Here is the list:

  • More Oracle Card Readings/ More Zodiac study
  • Be a Better Parent
  • Kick the Negativity
  • READ!
  • Eat better, Drink more water, Work out

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Zodiac and Readings. I am getting better and more in tune and it’s something that has given me a lot of clarity and guidance. I just need to stick with it and keep doing it. One of the things I have been doing and want to really try hard to keep doing is do the single card drawing a day. It helps me to get acquainted with my deck and it lets me know what I will encounter.

Next is being a better parent. I know this is super broad but that’s because what Emily needs from me fluctuates all the time. One thing I consistently suck at is being patient. I get really frustrated and angry with her often and its just not okay with me. I’m working on doing what I need to do to curb that, namely being mindful of it, but I am also trying to work with her. For example, Emily has NO ability to entertain herself (without the aid of an ipad/tv) and so she is CONSTANTLY on top of me needing my attention and wanting me to play with her. We can spend four hours together but the moment I stop she is instantly pouting and whining and nagging for me to play. And a very large key to me having more patience with her is not having her in my pocket 24/7. So right now I am trying to work with her on entertaining herself and engaging that imagination of hers without the help of others. I’ve generally worked on just being kinder to her as well. She is a sensitive soul.

Third is Kicking the Negativity. This is two fold. I am a whiner and a complainer. I love to bitch. I love to vent. It’s just… too much. My constantly being down on life and pissed at the world has started to drain me. And I also am very drained by everyone else’s negativity too. Seriously. I cant take anymore of everyone’s drama. So I am going to start kicking and cutting out negativity. I did this about 6 years ago and it genuinely changed my life. I think I have gradually slipped back into old bad habits, but no more! Good vibes, friend.

Reading! I want to set a reading goal, because I think it will be fun and why not. You want to do this with me?

Annnnd Lastly the dreaded Health goals. I’m just going to be real. I feel like shit all the time and I hate how I look when I see myself naked in a mirror. A bunch of my in-laws are training for tough madder and while I have told them “not no, but Hell no” to doing that (because it legitimately has ZERO appeal to me) I DID tell them I would eat better and work out with them.

I am scared.

Every time I have tried to lose weight in the past 3 years I have ended up discouraged and disappointed. I guess I am vain because it’s not just enough to be healthier in reality. I need to SEE something happening. It may be wrong in some way, but that’s the way it is.

We shall see how all of this goes…

❤ Me

 

Movie Review: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003)

Hi Catie,

Adam and I watched this movie last night along with two others I will be reviewing as well. At around eight or nine in the evening, we began our movie binge with Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003). It’s an animated movie with the leading voices of Joseph Fiennes, Brad Pitt, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Michelle Pfeiffer.

The summary: “The sailor of legend is framed by the goddess Eris for the theft of the Book of Peace, and must travel to her realm at the end of the world to retrieve it and save the life of his childhood friend Prince Proteus.”

My opinion: I love this movie. I loved it when I was a child, and today I still watch it every so often for inspiration of seafaring characters and the random happenstances that can occur when out on the ocean in a world of fantasy.

Naturally, this world is supposed to be Earth, way way back in the day, but alas, something so ancient in history feels like a fantasy to me as I cannot truly empathize what I have not experienced.

The characters are well-thought out. A man who loves his city, his birthright, and holds a sense of honor for his duties.

A man who has never had things easy, yet managed to befriend someone outside of his working class bounds, holds the thief-with-a-heart-of-gold trope, and still rings noble in the end.

A woman, promised in an engagement and prepared for a life she didn’t ask for – yet she’s still strong, and adventurous, and a wonderful role-model of optimism, cleverness, and honor.

This entire adventure was sprinkled with well-placed quips, comedic value, and soul-searching for all ages. I formally rate this movie 4/5 stars.

 

 

 

The Alchemist… A disappointment

 

This is the goodreads summary:

“Paulo Coelho’s enchanting novel has inspired a devoted following around the world. This story, dazzling in its powerful simplicity and inspiring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest. No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way. But what starts out as a journey to find worldly goods turns into a discovery of the treasure found within. Lush, evocative, and deeply humane, the story of Santiago is an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts.”

 

Sounds fucking awesome right? Right. Only it wasn’t. It was super cheesy and really repetitive. Like… when I say super cheesy I mean SUPER cheesy. The woman he loves sends him kisses on the wind which he feels and recognizes as hers. And by the way, he fell in love with her after she smiled at him at a well. They only ever even talked a handful of times.

 

He convinces God to change him into the wind at one point… which might be cool except the whole book up till then has been somewhat realistic so its oddly disjointed.

 

AND the entire premise of the book is that If you want something then it’s meant to be and ALL you have to do is abandon all that’s realistic in the world and follow your heart and watch for omens and everything it the world will conspire to help you. WICH IS TOTAL BULLSHIT.

 

There were things I like about the book Like the concepts he stole from various religions. But they weren’t even HIS ideas.

 

This is one of my favorite reviews:

“The problem with this book is not just that it’s bad, which it certainly is, but that there are so many people out there who want to corner you at parties and tell you how it’s totally changed their lives. In a way you might as well read it just so you can see how feeble-minded they must be to get any kind of philosophical nourishment out of this inexhaustible stream of clichés. The profound lessons you’ll learn from this book amount to nothing more than several variations on the theme of “only the very ugly is truly beautiful, only the very stupid are really intelligent, only black is white, only up is down” etc etc.

The writing is too simple to be really bad, but it’s the content that gets you. By the end of the book you’ll want to track down the philosopher’s stone yourself and carefully beat Coelho to death with it.”

 

In short… don’t read it. You will be disappointed.

 

Dear Miranda, Here I go…

I find myself at a strange but not totally unfamiliar juncture in my life. We have talked about cycles in life before. How you (collective you) will go through one thing only to go through something else shortly after.

They cycle I am in now seems to be one breed out of a need for independence. Honestly I am SICK of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing. It is remarkable how as humans we always have options on how everyone else should fix themselves yet we have no idea what the hell we are doing in our own lives. As a codependent I am guilty of this line of though… “Oh, if so and so did X Y and Z would help them out so much.” L.O.L.

I feel like a big part of why my depression is so bad is because while researching the billion things to do to make myself happier I let myself become bogged down in everyone else and everyTHING else and my venture to find something fulfilling turned into boredom of the same rhythms of life and annoyance at everyone’s opinions.

And then I remembered one of those little gems of life. I do not have to justify myself to anyone! So hard for my codependent brain to grasp, I always have a thousand arguments for why, but that’s just the thing. I don’t have to. I can actually DO ME without explaining the little intricacies of every decision I make. Maybe if I was a sociopath this would be problematic. But I’m not. I don’t even have to justify things to myself.

I don’t have to debate. I don’t have to argue. I can hear someone opinion and politely ignore it without having a visceral reaction to it. I can mind my own damn business when it comes to other people’s shit too. I don’t have to involve myself and I don’t have to espouse my “knowledge” to people who don’t ask for it. I can let others do them while I do me.

Anyway, this cycle, is me stepping away. I feel like I have read enough self-help books for a while and now I need to just live. Live out the things I want to and wait till another time to live out others. After a period of hyper connectedness with everyone I feel like I need a time of isolation.

So I’ll let this be my link to the outside world, you, and our friends. You can pop inside my head for a bit and know I am fine all while I ‘disappear’ for a time.

Love your face,

Me.

Dear Miranda, I learned about my bucket.

Yesterday I went to a Permanency Summit in Abilene. The summit had a lot of trauma and grief training. It was and extremely intense training and I went and saw my therapist after to process all of it but at the end of the training they focused on workplace well being. They talked all about the secondary trauma we experience in this field if we don’t take care of ourselves. If I were to paraphrase what she said and take of the pretty wrapping she used to be unoffensive it would have sounded a lot like this:

“You are all a bunch of codependence, that’s why you are drawn to this type of work and thank God for that, but you need to keep that shit in check and make sure your nurturing yourselves because otherwise you will end up broken, bitter, and you will unintentionally fuck up the families you work with.”

Then she talked about our “bucket” and it was such an awesome visual analogy for something we know happened to us emotionally (apparently there is a book about this and when I get a chance I’m going to read it). So the idea is simple: Everyone has an invisible bucket next to there heart with all the good things that make them them and we all give and take from each others buckets when we need to. In social work that is every day. The problem is that since you are the only one who can “see” your bucket, you are the only one who knows when its empty and people will continue to take even after there is nothing left. And that can break you down. So in order to ensure that doesn’t happen you have to A) set up firm boundaries when your bucket gets low (ie. I don’t work on weekends. My bucket is low or empty at the end of the week and I need my family time. My family time is something you cant have. Or w/e your boundary is.) and B) to make sure you are doing things that refill your bucket!

Her examples of refilling your bucket were going on a date night with her husband, playing board games with her kids, going to an art exhibit or hanging out with friends who make her laugh and laugh. She really stressed the importance of making sure you didn’t always rely on your spouse to refill your bucket because then it can become drain on their bucket to fill yours. Obviously a date night fills both your buckets and its fine to take from their bucket every once in a while just like they take from yours but having friends and activities that help fill your bucket as well is a must.

She said that everyone in her family knows what “my buckets low” or “I need help filling my bucket” means and they all use it. If her kids throw a fit in the middle of the store and her bucket gets dumped out she can set them down and let them know her buckets low and they will offer things like “If I get my PJ’s on without you having to tell me, will that help fill your bucket?”  and if her husband comes home from work and says his bucket is on empty and need something for the rest of the week she might get take out and let him pick the Netflix they watch that night. If the kids buckets are low she will cuddle them or play a silly song and dance with them. You get the idea.

Anyway I loved the idea of the Bucket and Zachary and I have decided to use it because its such an easy way to communicate a common need. It’s something Emily will understand at least mostly. And I was thinking about what are some things that help refill my bucket.

Some quick little fills I use during the week are:

15 minutes of quiet or outside sounds, like sitting on the patio and listening to the birds and wind chimes

Listening to a “pick me up” song

Reading Emily a bedtime story at night

Taking a shower with Zac

Getting a text message from a friend

Good Coffee

hunting through pintrest for ideas

seeing someone I know and having them smile/wave at me

Some Medium fills I use are:

at least one hour spent doing something fun outside, be it relaxing or swimming or taking a walk

talking on the phone for 20+ min. with a friend

a long soaking bubble bath

board games with Zac and/or Emily

nighttime cuddles

Doodling

Reading a chapter or two of a good book

watching a funny show/movie or a good documentary

a nap (that I don’t wake up feeling shitty from)

yoga

a really delicious meal

And the big fillers are:

A deep and meaningful conversation with someone I care about

Seeing Emily have a total blast at somewhere I have taken her

Lunch with a friend who lives here

A letter/Blog post/email/ long call/ long IM session from a friend who lives outside of here

Being able to read as much as I want in one sitting

A whole day with no obligations

Having time to sit and write out my thoughts and feelings

Therapy

A Vacation with Zac and/or Emily

“Date night” with Zac

Reading something that I feel like enlightens me or gives me a new coping skill

The other big thing she preached about the buckets was that we need to all carefully consider the people who help fill you up vs. the people who empty you. And get rid of the ones who empty you and work to foster and nurture the connections with the ones who fill you up.

I thought you might like all this too and I just want you to know I miss you and you help fill me up. ❤ -Me